Does your student have a healthy romantic relationship?
Along with great friendships, many students may find themselves in a romantic relationship while away at college. Relationships are meant to bring connection, happiness and fulfillment. Some signs of a healthy relationship include good communication, trust, adaptability and shared interests. If your student is feeling unhappy, anxious or stressed, however, these could be signs that their relationship is in trouble. Below are some red flags that your student may want to consider in their romantic relationship.
One person in the relationship tries to control or change the other. If your student is concerned about a certain behavior in their partner, it is important for them to bring it up. Discussing a concern and asking their significant other to consider making changes is fine in a healthy relationship. However, if one person in the relationship is trying to control the other person’s behavior, this is a red flag.
There is no respect for boundaries. Boundaries are an important aspect in any relationship. If your student sets a boundary that their partner continues to push against, or continuously pressures them to change, their relationship may not be set for the long haul.
Spending time together is not a priority. A key to a healthy relationship is spending quality time together. Some warning signs for an unhealthy relationship may include difficulty making time for each other with no clear reason, feeling relieved when they’re not together or making excuses to avoid seeing each other.
The relationship feels unequal. A healthy relationship tends to be well balanced in all areas including relationship expectations, communication and affection. Although this can be thrown off due to stress or other emotional life events, if your student’s relationship regularly feels like it is unbalanced and their partner is not actively trying to improve, their relationship may be headed in the wrong direction.
Their partner says negative or hurtful things. Criticism is tough from anyone, but especially from a romantic partner. If your student’s love interest is constantly nagging them about personal choices like favorite foods, shows, clothing, etc., they may want to reconsider the relationship. In addition, it is important for your student to pay attention to the way their partner speaks about others. Hate speech, slurs and discriminatory comments can say a lot about another person.
Your student doesn’t feel heard in the relationship. If your student is holding back on sharing their opinion or discussing concerns because they think their partner will be disinterested or brush them off, their relationship may be in trouble. Although miscommunication can happen at times, healthy communication in a relationship includes listening and sharing from both partners.
Your student is afraid to express themselves. If your student feels like they must censor their words because their partner often responds with dismissal or contempt, this shows a lack of respect. If your student is worried about their partner’s reaction, they should consider leaving the relationship.
To help your student determine if they are in a healthy romantic relationship they can consider the following questions:
- Does my partner encourage me to grow?
- Do we share goals for the future?
- Do we want the same kind of relationship?
- Can I be myself with them?
- Do I accept them for who they are?
- Do we give and take from each other fairly equally?
- Is my life better with them in it?
- Does our time together have meaning?
If your student answered yes to six or more of these questions, their relationship is most likely strong and in a healthy place. If they answered no, they may want to really consider if their relationship is causing more harm than joy. If your student needs more help or advice about their relationship, they can take advantage of Tech’s Center for Counseling and Mental Health Wellness »
Source: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-relationship
Scholarship Information › Interview with Gayle Hanson ›
